Author:
Shilpi Somaya Gowda
Published:
Harper Collins (2010)
Number of Pages:
342
Review:
“Adoption only solves childlessness not infertility.” Celebrities make adoption look like a breeze. You go to a foreign poverty stricken country, point to the child you want and within a few weeks that child is yours. What the public fails to see is the struggle parents have bonding with the child. It isn’t easy to be a parent in the first place, imagine being a first time parent to a child who doesn’t look like you and worse of all who doesn’t respond to you. But what about the biological parents of this child? Are they really so heartless that they can give up their baby or is there no choice in this decision? Perhaps giving the child away is much more advantageous to the child then it is to selfishly cling to the kid and bring them up in that poverty stricken world. However, this sense of loss and abandonment can haunt the parents for the rest of their lives. These are the dilemmas that surround the story of Secret Daughter.
In rural India Kavita and her Husband are expecting their second child, a child that Kavita both loves fiercely and fears, for if this child is a girl her husband is sure to do something drastic. Across the ocean, Somer and her husband wait patiently at the gynaecologist’s office hoping to hear that after suffering through several miscarriages that she’ll be able to try reproducing again; only instead of hearing good news Somer learns that her ovaries have stopped producing eggs and that although she is only in her 30s she never going to give birth. Kavita gives birth to a beautiful baby girl, a girl she had no hope of keeping, so she gave up the child for adoption rather than have her husband kill this one as he did the other. Somer adopts Kavita’s baby and struggles to find that bond so many mothers have instantly with their children. Although separated by an ocean these two women both struggle with the same issues when it comes to raising a family and find themselves to be connected by a little girl named Asha.
The power of a mother’s love is present in every letter of this novel. The things women will do for their children are devastating, unforgiving, unconditional, and overwhelming. I have so much more appreciation for my mother after reading this novel. Where Kavita smothers her only remaining child with love because of regrets and a feeling of loss, Somer smothers her child because of her fear of a dream, a dream burning within Asha to find her biological family. Somer fears that if Asha does find her biological family she will lose Asha forever, a fear with which many adoptive mothers probably live.
When I was reading this novel I had a lot of resentment towards Somer. She married into an Indian family (her husband Krishnan is Indian) but she never allowed herself to embrace his culture. In fact she repressed her husband from expressing his culture. I found this very American idea of assimilation to be insulting to me who was born in Canada but still maintains a very South American culture. It wasn’t until I got another prospective that I started to realize my initial hatred for Somer was unnecessary. In truth Somer never got the chance to embrace the culture because her husband never showed her what being Indian was like. He immediately changed his ways of living the minute he stepped on American soil. He gave up every part of him that was Indian and showed Somer that he was indeed American. It wasn’t until he went back to India that he did a complete 180 and changed into someone Somer couldn’t even recognize and what’s worse: he didn’t even educate Somer about his culture. It was complete culture shock that damaged Somer and made her resent her Indian husband and later her Indian daughter.
Another thing I found to be annoying was the fact that the men really didn’t have much of a voice in the novel. Jasu (Kavita’s husband) the hard working husband of Kavita was often seen as the bad father who was trying to mend his ways. Krishnan was the one suppressing who he really was, always with a bottle of hot sauce to pour over his bland food as if it’ll spice up his bland life, and Vikram, the son of Kavita and Jasu, who although growing up in such horrible conditions and then finds himself settling into a life of crime doesn’t even have a say in the novel, in fact by the end he’s pretty much a forgotten memory.
One thing I really liked though was the symmetry of India. The reader through Kavita got to see India in a very negative disgusting light. Living in the slums of Mumbai, the lack of proper housing, corrupted legal forces, and crime knocking on every door all of these situations were replaced when Asha arrives in India with the splendour of Indian weddings, the amazing tastes of the cuisine, and the glamorous clothing and houses. The two sides of this country were portrayed with a beautiful sadness.
Perhaps if Gowda had focused a bit more on Somer and less on Kavita I’d have warmed up to Somer more than I had; this was probably one of the more major flaws of the novel, the fact that the author spent so much of it focused on Kavita and her struggles the other characters are often left as a side story, or insignificant. I’d have also enjoyed it more had the men been given a stronger voice. Yes this is a story about strong women, but I felt the men to be neglected, supporting characters that weren’t really supporting. However the novel was emotionally poignant and beautifully so. Her writing was easy to capture your attention. The novel captures what it means to be a mother but more importantly it captures what it means to be a family.
Happy Reading!!!
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