The Fellowship of the Mothership

Mothership

Author:
Martin Leicht and Isla Neal
Publisher:
Simon & Schuster (2012)
Number of Pages:
308
Review: “Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom! penis vagina.” What’s so funny about a school for pregnant teenagers? Well when you place the school in outer space and have a main character that is as sarcastic and witty as Elvie Nara… simply put: everything!!

Elvie Nara was just your typical teenager until she made the mistake of doing the horizontal limbo with the new hottie in school Cole Archer. To her surprise she found herself pregnant and when she told the dumb as a brick Cole he was going to be a father he skipped town, presumably never to be heard from again.  Her father decides that the best option for her is to attend the Hanover School For Expecting Teen Mothers, the only thing is, it’s in outer space. As if that isn’t bad enough, once she boards the ship she finds herself in the company of Britta (who didn’t need hormones to be bitchy) Coles girlfriend, and a slew of other weird characters. When the ship is invaded by this weirdo army commando, the girls find out their teachers as well as their boyfriends are not quite who they thought them to be.

I cannot write how much I loved this novel. Nothing I say could ever bring it justice but I shall attempt to do it justice. First let me say that it was the single most hilarious piece of literature I read in 2012 and probably my most recommended book. I haven’t laughed out loud (no really I let go of some unhealthy guffaws during this novel) as much as I did during this book than any I’ve read recently.  Elvie was such a dry, sarcastic and witty character I immediately fell in love with her. She reminded me of Juno and I think that’s why I loved her so much.

Elvie is different from your typical YA heroine. She starts off the novel pregnant. Yes people, she is not a virgin (insert gasp here). YA tends to villainize its non-virginal female characters, the male leads are almost always “experienced” but the females for some reason haven’t even had a proper kiss, which is why I found it so refreshing and unique to have the heroine be a non-virgin right off the bat. But aside from Elvie being Hymanally absent it was her personality that got me, and kept me reading. She is hilarious, more than hilarious! She’s mean, conniving, sarcastic, cynical, but there’s this vulnerability and loving side of her that makes her so human and real. Reading her story was like reading a person’s journal, you know if they were in space or whatever. If Jane Austin was a pregnant teenager living on a space ship in 2079 she would be Elvie Nara.

I loved the rivalry between Elvie and Britta; I also loved the fact that they both shared the same baby daddy. I mean we all know that Cole is hot but what are the chances he’d knock up two chicks at once? Well a very good chance considering Cole isn’t really a normal human boy.  Thus the disappearing act in the beginning of the novel. Cole’s love for Elvie and his affection for his children almost make you forgive him for neglecting them (and deceiving them). I also loved the fact that the authors didn’t dumb down their female characters. These girls were strong, fierce and ready for anything that came their way.

But my favourite character of all has got to be Elvie’s dad who has a solution for everything I mean how can you not love a man who is so prepared for anything he has a folder entitled "Folder three, scenario four: going into labor during a high-speed chase with extra-terrestrials.” Talk about a man who plans!

The plot is so much fun. There are not a lot of novels out there where you can say you had legitimate fun reading, but this novel it’s fair to say fun is in every atom of ink on the page. The commando takeover of the ship, the alien invasion, the sheer love between Elvie and her father, the love Cole shows his baby mamas, and every single strange, weird and hilarious scenario Elvie and the crew find themselves in makes this book my favourite read of 2012.

So if you haven’t done so yet I suggest you check out Mothership as soon as possible. It doesn’t seem to be as popular as the other books in the YA genre but search it out online from sites like Book Depository or Chapters Online. I really recommend this book and think that if you enjoy weird and sarcastic humour you will most definitely appreciate this jem of a novel.

Happy reading!

What is the Opposite of Sweating?

Shiver

Author:

Maggie Stiefvater

Published:

Scholastic (2009)

Number of Pages:

400

Review:

“I listened for a long time. I prayed for them to stop, to leave me alone, but at the same time I was desperately afraid they would. Long after the other voices had dropped away, Sam kept howling, very soft and slow. When he finally fell silent, the night felt dead.” Werewolves, vampires, zombies, OH MY. It seems that every young adult book we pick up to read these days (you know the ones that make it on the best sellers list) are the ones that feature at least some gothic or mythical creature within its fine paper walls.  While I’m all for gothic literature and my love of vampires haven’t deteriorated yet, what I’m not for is the clichéd gothic literature that is coming out these days.

I remember a time when vampires and werewolves were supposed to be scary, feared, or even mocked. But ever since Twilight (perhaps before that but Twilight is responsible for this craze) these creatures are not scary anymore. In fact they’re wimpy, and love sick, and pathetic. While men are usually like this on a whole, it’s the women of the stories that disappoint me the most. And while I did love this novel Shiver (I loved it to death) I can’t get over the fact that Grace was portrayed as this over obsessive character, and obsessed she was.

The novel starts off with Grace as a young child sitting on her tire swing minding her own business when she gets attacked and dragged by a pack of wolves. All of the wolves are attacking her except one, a lone wolf with sad yellow eyes. The lone wolf eventually fights off the others and brings her back to safety. Fast forward to present times Grace is now 17 years old and desperately in love with the wolf (A WOLF) and the wolf is in love with her, the only problem is Grace doesn’t know that her wolf is actually a boy by the name of Sam who in the summers enjoys his time as a human, but in the winters he prances around in his wolf costume 24/7 (in other words he’s a werewolf). It isn’t until Sam it shot that their two worlds collide and the love story begins.

Bella is to Edward as Grace is to Sam. These two love stories could be identical with their sense of longing and foreboding and the yearning and the desire, young passionate love that lasts forever. It is stories like these that make me a neurotic love torn spinster. I have yet to feel that obsession these children feel for each other but I’m an older gal, and I know the difference between fantasy and reality (and although this kind of love is romantic, it can’t be healthy) but I’m worried about the young girls (and boys) who are reading these stories and thinking this is what love is supposed to be like. These children are going to be crushed when they find out that their potential spouse isn’t going to be as obsessed about them as these characters are about each other (I know I always am). Yet publishers keep accepting these story lines about obsessed teenagers with no concern about their effects on the young minds reading them. It’s like reading Gone with the Wind when your 14 years old and then spending the rest of your life trying to find a Rhett Buttler. It’s just not going to happen yet these kids are growing up with this notion that they’re going to find their Sam or Grace and they’re just setting themselves up for disappointment.

Anyway back to the review. The novel itself is brilliant. The plot line is redundant but there is a twist, where werewolves back in the 90’s changed because of the moon, these humans of the 21^st century change because of the weather, as the temperature drops so does their ability to stay human. The narration moves between Grace and Sam, this is no one sided love story; the reader gets to experience both tales of this extremely fanatical love. But what I loved most about this novel has got to be the prose and this is why I deemed it brilliant. Where Meyers was more simplistic and juvenile with her writing, Stiefvater is very poetic and cadence, almost musical. “I didn't think I belonged here in her world, a boy stuck between two lives, dragging the dangers of the wolves with me, but when she said my name, waiting for me to follow, I knew I'd do anything to stay with her.” It just flows; from sentence to sentence the whole novel was like floating above water. I couldn’t put it down because I didn’t want to leave the pool; I just wanted to wade there for as long as I could, soaking up every word.

Sam was probably my favourite character, only because when he was narrating I was sure to get some intoxicating prose. “I could still smell her on my fur. It clung to me, a memory of another world. I was drunk with it, with the scent of her. I'd got too close. The smell of summer on her skin, the half-recalled cadence of her voice, the sensation of her fingers on my fur. Every bit of me sang with the memory of her closeness. Too close.” I said intoxicating, I didn’t say grammatically correct. I guess I’m just a sucker for prose.

All in all, this novel was worth the read. Was it my favourite, definitely not, but I can’t say I wasn’t entertained, which is saying a lot because there are some books out there I wouldn’t poke with a nine inch pole *cough cough* MOBY DICK (I read it, didn’t like it... sue me)!  I do fancy fluffy novels now and then and for those of you who happen to like fluff then I urge you to get a copy and make your home within the pages of this book.

Happy Reading!!!

The Long Wait to Reread

Titanic: The Long Night

Author:
Diane Hoh
Published: Scholastic (1998)
Number of Pages: 373
Review:
I remember stumbling upon this novel right after the big blockbuster movie Titanic hit the screens. I was not allowed to watch the movie at the time because it was rated 14A and my parents were very strict when it came to ratings (however they were very lenient when it came to novels, quite the hypocrisy I know).  Not being able to watch the film when every one of my peers had seen it twice was condemning me to social outcast, thus when I saw this novel at my local bookstore I begged my mother to buy it for me, and buy it for me she did. At the time I fell in love with the plotline, the characters and the beautiful love stories that this novel entailed and I got many of my friends hooked on the novel as well. Reading it a second time reignited those feelings and for the next 3 years after I bought it (at age 12) I reread it at least once every 6 months. After moving to our new home I’d lost my copy and didn’t seek out to buy a new copy, in fact this novel completely slipped my mind until I ended up in a used bookstore and happened to find a copy of it in the Young Adult section. Needless to say I had to buy it, and buy it I did.
The novel chronicles the lives of five young adults – Katie, the beautiful Irish women who’s accompanied by Patrick and Brian in steerage, and Maxwell the dashing young artist who captures the attention of first class Elizabeth Farr - whose destinies led them to board the tragically fated Titanic. Katie boards the ship in steerage (third class) heading to America with her two childhood friends, Brian the handsome Irish bloke, and his brother Patrick who thinks that by falling in love with Katie he’s betraying his brother’s love and stealing the girl his brother fancies for himself. For Katie the ship and the move to America is the biggest adventure of her life, and embarking on this adventure with the boys she knows better than her own mother, she starts to develop feelings for Patrick, unbeknownst to Katie Patrick secretly loves her too, but his love for his brother and his pride soon sends Patrick down a path away from Katie and into anger and isolation. Elizabeth on the other hand has been cared for and waited on her entire life and never dreams or even dares to think of living any other way, until she meets Maxwell Whittaker. The man whom she once deemed as a third class citizen turns out to be a first class passenger and the son of an acquaintance of her father’s at that. Through his quirky habits, and his irritating conversations and his total lack of proper demeanour Elizabeth finds herself falling in love with this man who’s exiled himself from the community of debutantes and in doing so she awakens her own inner rebel.
Of course one of the main characters is the Titanic herself, her fate, as many people know as tragic, is pushed in the background of the novel until the last couple of chapters. The reader while reading this novel forgets that the Titanic is the ship that sinks because they’re so enthralled in the actual story of the novel to pay attention to anything else.
Reading the novel as an adult for the first time the story resonates within me a different interpretation of the text than I had reading it has a tween yet I still feel the same excitement and wonder I did as a child. Of course being older has put my perspectives on love and happiness in a more cynical and critical level than when I was a little girl hyped up on Disney romances and this idea that love can conquer all (or that the love one experiences will be exactly that found in the fairytales). So when reading Titanic I recognized it for what it really was, much like the trashy romance novels found in bookstores and drugstores alike, this novel was written to send cheap thrills and good chills down one’s spine and at the same time leave the reader desperately craving for more.
Like many romance novels the language is very simple. There are very little allusions or alliterations, very little metaphors and a solid yet focused plotline; however I’ve always said that writing simply doesn’t always insure the writing is simple. “Her knees felt as if they might buckle at any moment. But she kept her head held high and repeated to herself under her breath as she walked, ‘Not Paddy, anyone but Paddy. He’s a heartbreaker that one’” There are so many thrills and so many scenes that gave me butterflies in my stomach that even as an adult I still wanted to believe that fairytales really do come true. The love stories itself are enough to keep this novel afloat, add to it the sinking ship, and this novel very well sails into its horizon.
What I love best about this novel is the sense of suspense one feels while reading. Although predictable I still couldn’t help myself from wanting to find out when they were going to kiss for the first time, when will they tell each other they love one another, or my favourite when are they going to stop denying to themselves that they love one another. “It was all Max’s fault. He shouldn’t have been looking at her like that, shouldn’t have put his face so close to hers.” *sighs* I feel as if I’m melting into the love story that is Elizabeth and Max as I retype this quotation. I love stubborn women in romance novels, the ones who deny deny deny they have any feelings until everything becomes too overwhelming and they explode with emotions, such is the character Elizabeth and she made this novel so much more endearing and suspenseful.
I have to say that I am glad I reread this novel. Not only did it bring back so many memories of my childhood reading, it also didn’t fail to send shivers down my back even though I knew what was going to happen. I’m almost positive that if you read it for the first time you too might experience the feelings I felt and might bring back a sense of nostalgia, back to those days of innocence when you thought love was exactly like a fairytale and that there is indeed a Maxwell and a Patrick out there for everyone.
Happy Reading!!!

How Opal Mehta Made Me Sick

How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life
Author: Kaavya Viswanathan
Published: Alloy Entertainment 2006
Number of Pages: 314
Review: Opal Mehta is the nerd you knew in high school, the nerd who always dreamed of getting into the top university of her country, (in Opal’s case Harvard) and the nerd who would do anything to secure an admission to that particular university.  Basically Opal Mehta is me. However, unlike Opal I didn’t sacrifice who I am to ensure myself a spot at UofT. 
Opal is conniving and manipulative and assertive and ambitious, all qualities I utterly loved about this character. It was her immaturity and her amateurish behaviour that drove me into insanity. The narration, in first person, was unbearable at times. It was like reading the high school version of The Devil Wears Prada. I could not believe I’d picked another book to read that focused primarily on clothes and television shows and pop culture. This is the crap that our youths are exposed to today that makes authors “think” they can “appeal” to the masses by adding juvenile and atrocious allusions to their writing.  Does it help that the author herself is a youth? Well I could cut her some slack but if you consider yourself a successful and professional writer, one that is good enough to be published, then you better write a novel that is worth the ink on paper and this novel was not one of them.  
It primarily deals with a Desi family living in New Jersey: Opal, and her two annoying and dauntingly immature and pervasive parents, Amal and Meena Mehta.  Opal has the highest GPA in her school and yet when she goes to her interview she is told that they’re not just looking for a GPA but an all-around well rounded person.  How crushed she was to find out that her GPA didn’t matter if she was an android and thus began her mission of HOWGAL: How Opal Will Get A Life, in which she were to become popular by befriending the Haute Bitchez, get a boy to kiss her and turn into a wild child so that Harvard will accept her. Now I don’t know about the majority of teen students out there today, but in my school there were no popular students, everybody got along with everybody and nobody in University cares if you were the hottest person on the cheer-leading squad. University and the real world is not a popularity contest.  
Now being from a dominant Indian culture I was expecting to find this book loaded with familiar cultural references, thus when I saw that during the Hindu festival of Diwali her family ordered mutton curry to serve, disgusted me. What happened to fasting and respecting the religion enough to not eat meat? And her father was really annoying with his “ghetto” talk and constant pressure he was putting on the poor teenager -no wonder she went insane- kind of like the pressure I get from my parents about Med School.
Anyways, back to the book… Opal clearly doesn’t love the fact that she is from an Indian family. The way she dismisses her aunties and uncles, the way she describes the parties and festivals, the way she bluntly told her dad she will not play Indian music at her party, the fact that she doesn’t even like the FOOD… it shows her disdain towards her culture.  What I did like about her though was her physics ability. At least she was science smart… and the whole thing with the Fermeculi formula was very smart on the author’s part.  
Although the book was written for teenagers, I had expected more from it.  I thought it resembled Mean Girls almost to the point of them being indistinguishable from one another, but just almost.  The message was common, the plot line predictable and in the words of a teenager “it’s all been done!” The buzz behind it when it first came out was undeserving and the fact that the novel was practically plagiarized just goes to show that the novel isn’t worth the ink on paper.  I guess the only other thing I can say is: read it on your own discretion. 
Happy Reading!!!